I've wanted to start a blog for quite some time, but I've never had the perfect subject or enough to talk about. I have seen blogs about all sorts of things, and all are helpful, interesting, creative in some way or aanother, but it seemed like everything had been done before. So my plan, when it finally came to me, was simple: write what I know. What makes me different isnt exactly what I know, but its why I know it, why and how I experience it, how i cope with it, and finally how I accept it and move forward from there.
This isn't an advice blog, this isn't an 'how-to' guide. This is simply my life, and all the crazyness that it involves(Which believe me, it is rather insane). And from this one on out I will simply share with the world what happens in the present and interesting tales from the past, as well as how I managed through it all without needing to be institutionalized. Or perhaps that is still to be determined. Either way ive made it this far in life and I have to say I think I' doing pretty darn good.
Now keep in mind this is just an intro so my writing does seem a bit odd i know, and if your still reading at this point I thank you, really, I do lol. Anyway, for the sake of not completely being shuned by my family I am simply going to go by K on here. Other than where I live, the rest of my name, and the names of others i have in my life I am going to spill it all. All the insane fights that make no sense, the squabbaling and rumors, and the moments that there is simply no explanation for except they're related to me. We, my whole family, are insane. Simply, frustraitingly, annoyingly, beautifully insane. And to start I will talk about me here, so that there is a more clear understanding of the basis for this.
(Keep in mind I'm one of the normal ones)
As previously stated I am K, I am a 19 yr old woman(I know I know I'm young, but bare with me). I am a student at a very decent school in the U.S. I'm sure at some point I will mention where, but for now I'm going to keep it to myself. I am studing to become a high school history teacher. This is of course insane, I am well aware that right now is not a great time for teachers let alone history teachers. It is one of my loves though, and thus i persue it. What makes me interesting, or what i think, is my many things that i consider 'broken'. I often call myself a Broken Toy or say I belong on the islnd of misft toys. For starters I have scoliosis, no big deal, but it's actully pretty bad. Along with that I have rather large.. boobs. These things together means I am alwys in pain, it is never ending. Oh and on the note of pain, I have chronic headaches. Other physical problems I have are a bad heat valve, this is a family problem, my mother has it and although mine has never been tested I get the same bad palpatations that are the indicator i have recieved this trait, PCOS polycistic ovarian syndrom, PGAD persistant genital arousal disorder, it always sounds amusing but trust me it is very very annoying. At the moment I cannot think of any other physical things, it is pretty late and im tired and trying to wrap this up. Now my psychological issues are what make me interesting, I have a slight anxiety disorder, so I do have panic attacks occasionally and i have a tendency to count things, steps,stairs, lights, ect. ect., I also have mixed bi-polar disorder >.< which is different than bi-polar disorder, mixed is like it on steroids. On an average day I go through 3 or more Manic episode, and 3 or more Depressive episodes. I change emotions quickly and cant help it. It also means that i can and do experience both of these extremes at the same time. I am often caught in what feels like an emotional limbo. On the rare occasions where i am stuck in one emotion for extended periods of time, like currently my depressive mood, my other emotions manifest into somewhere else, my manic has become rage, and so on. And finally, i think, is my A.D.D. attention deficit disorder, i think most of the world is aware of what this is so no need to explain.
now all of these mixed together make one hell of combination. I will get more into that as tome goes on and you gradualy learn about me through my life and experience, but for now I am tired, it is 2:45 in the A.M and I need some sleep. Please join me on my journey to crazytown.
-Forever Me, K
